@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
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@einaregilsson: MC HAMMER: U can't touch this! ... U can't touch this! MASSAGE THERAPIST: Please just let me do my job Mr. Hammer! MC HAMMER: U can't tou...
@garrettbarry70: *First date. Her. "Shall we carve our names onto this tree" Me. "You brought a knife?"