@Lai_Bhari: Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.
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@sarcasticmommy4: I'm at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald's employee what my change back should be.
@ewfeez: GENIE: you have found my lamp, so I must grant you four wishes ME: I thought it was three? GENIE: You need four
@DanLaMorte: I was on a date with a girl and she said "did you notice my finger nails?" And I was like "yes" and she was like "well I have no arms"