@Lai_Bhari: Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.
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@DepecheALAmode: I want my funeral to be sad and completely serious. Then right when my coffin starts lowering into the ground the song from Tetris plays.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [God creating cheesecake] GOD: [stuffing his face] oh man this is so good ANGEL: shouldn't u share it? GOD: [creates lactose intolerance]
@jazmasta: [first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] "Dr that's the model skeleton"
@Breadery: Snow White succumbs to avian influenza as a message against the laziness of magically hiring animals to complete household chores.