@andypatton: Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: cop: "can you point at which zebra it was" zebra: "ha good luck we all look the same" me: [points at zebra wearing my sunglasses] "that one"
@ieatanddrink: It's so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity
@KeetPotato: [biologists find beached whale] its a new species what can we call it? [surfer walks by] yo killer whale bro [biologists look at each other]
@MartaEffing: *sees person I know in a crowd* *waves enthusiastically* * realizes I don't know person* * changes enthusiastic wave to awkward fist pump*