@DrunkMrWonka: Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
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@YayForJam: Walk into karate dojo. Bow. Assume made up karate stance. Taser the first guy who runs at you. Bow. Exit karate dojo
@DaddyJew: Doctor: are you an active marijuana user? Me: not really, I usually just sit on the couch and play video games
@NicestHippo: Props to every deodorant commercial ever for abandoning all creativity and just going with "If you buy this, women will have sex with you"