@cray_at_home_ma: Alexa, take down my Christmas decorations.
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@DurtMcHurtt: Sorry I changed your ringtone to Salt-N-Pepa's "push it" and called you a bunch of times during your colonoscopy.
@bobvulfov: COP: u were swerving a lot so i have to conduct a sobriety test ME: ok COP: lets get taco bell ME: no COP: text ur ex ME: no COP: ok ur good
@KyleMcDowell86: [Elephant at a party] Nice piano! [me] thanks [Elephant] What are the keys made of? [Me] Uhh.. [Rhino appears behind me] Tell him Kyle