@SatansTongue: AlgeBron James is the best mathlete in the league
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@behindyourback: Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. After that we'll go by who has the birthday closest to today, then by height.
@Breadery: My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with "LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."
@seamussaid: my daughter has been thrusting her stuffed animals in my face for me to kiss, but I'm being very selective so she learns to have standards
@SamGrittner: People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig.