@Try2StopME: Interviewer: "So why should we hire you?" Me: "Cause I need a job very badly." Interviewer: "So?" Me: "And you have a vacancy. BINGO"

@JosesLovesYou: For a hero, it's pretty cool that Mario is just a dude who ignores his real job, does mushrooms and smashes his head into things all day.

@NoTheOtherJohn: [Inside Trojan Horse] OTHER GREEKS: *fearful/anxious silence* ME: This is my first sleepover

@QwertyJones3: "Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then.

@TheLieLamaa: The only person who listens to both sides of an argument, is the next door neighbour ...