@behindyourback: Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. After that we'll go by who has the birthday closest to today, then by height.

@Breadery: My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with "LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."

@seamussaid: my daughter has been thrusting her stuffed animals in my face for me to kiss, but I'm being very selective so she learns to have standards

@SamGrittner: People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig.

@tastefactory: We really are the most blessed generation. We've had 7 iPhones and 7 Fast and Furious movies.