@wolfpupy: aliens took me up to on their ship but i have no time for that drama so i just jumped out
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@ehdannyboy: i have good and bad news Wife: Ok, the bad news? i didn't clean out the garage Wife:*sigh* the good news? [holds up cat dressed as Thor]
@GabbbarSingh: Blackberry users thought of making a joke abt the Apple-Samsung battle, but before they cud tweet thr phone hanged n battery drained out
@roostermustache: Him: my gf left me Me: theres plenty of fish in the sea Him: yeah but- Me: also a squirrel Him: ...what Me: and a sponge in a pineapple
@SCbchbum: When a couple I’m friends with splits up, I always choose sides with the one who won’t ask to sleep on my couch.