@iamk1ts: All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare.
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@sofarrsogud: ME: Yeah, I've heard that movie. FRIEND: You mean 'seen' that movie. ME: Ha ha. No! I'm on twitter. I haven't seen a movie in 3 years.
@slackmistress: Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk.
@Schmoodles: My friend texts "ur" instead of "you're" but puts extra letters in "so" because she's "soooo happy." This is why everyone hates you, Julie.