@iamk1ts: All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheBoydP: Get ahead at the office by taking work home with you over the weekend. No need to work on it just make sure people see you take it home...
@Ameiam: I'm really surprised I decided to get Botox. At least I think I'm surprised, I can't really tell.
@notacroc: [at a bar] CUTE GIRL: *grabs my arm* hey there ME: *mouth full of food* did you know a lobster on a kabob is called a kablobster
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Sir... I know, I know. Why is my dog dri- Cop: WHY IS YOUR DOG DRIVING I threw the ball too far during fetch Cop: Fair enough