@SuperApple8: All I want in life is to be cool enough to cut up slices of an apple and eat them directly from the knife.
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@STEELERS1972: So I met this hooker who said she'd do anything for ten bucks . Guess who got his yard cut?
@PaperWash: angel: where'd all the zebras go? God: I put 'em in the desert angel: dude their camouflage was for the snow God: I know lol
@zachreinert03: I'm really glad they named a park bench after my uncle in memorial. It fits, he was great at having homeless ppl sleep on top of him
@Prof_Peejay: Her:"What do you do?" Me:"I teach astronomy." Her:"OMG!! I'm a Sagitarius! Can you see my future?" Me:"Yes, you'll go home alone tonight."