@TheBoydP: All I’m saying is if you wake up in the middle of the night to pee and see that it’s only 11:30pm, you might be getting old.
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@mrtruthandsoul: I wonder how many times Batman had to rub one out in the Batmobile after fighting with Catwoman
@shariv67: When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, "I have now."
@elle91: Me: Hi, yes I have a reservation for one womb with a view? Receptionist: What? Husband: [Exasperated sigh] we're here for an ultrasound.
@SatansTongue: *at a concert* ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK (Crowd) "YEAAAAH" LETS DO THIS HIT IT *30 second ad plays first*