@GeorgiaBarns: All microwaveable popcorn packages should be accompanied by dental floss
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@mattsurely: "Oh my god I can't believe someone would pronounce my name exactly how it's spelled!!!" - people with stupid names
@ermahgarton: MURDERER: could a murderer do THIS? *defendant proceeds to not kill anyone* JUDGE: he's got a point
@bombfunk75: Get your rock star name, like Axl Rose did, by selecting a car part and then a flower. Mine is Crankshaft Tulip
@milehighocd: Don't take a shower when you're drunk. The curtain does not support you when you fall. Trust me.