@tinatbh: All my friends look like a Victoria's Secret model and I look like a Victoria sponge cake
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@Reverend_Scott: "Daddy, where do babies come from?" From mommies. "How do they get inside?" CAN'T U ASK WHY THE SKY IS BLUE HAVEN'T U WONDERED ABOUT THAT
@better_off_dad: I could tell by her screams this was not the kind of friendship that included showers.