@tsm560: All of my friends are in love and I’m still on my own but I’m not gonna feel bad for them.
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@Alex_Houseof308: [During sex] *Knock on the door* Woman: Shit! It's my boyfriend Man: Oh shit!!! *Pulls out and jumps down from the bed* What do we do? Woman: Hide in the closet. Quick! Man: Okay, smart. Let me just...wait... Woman: What? Man: Karen, I'm your husband!
@mommywhitfield: Apparently, "I understand why some animals eat their young," is not a socially acceptable answer when someone asks you how you're doing. Whatever.
@hunz74: I just saw a lady jogging backwards. You go, girl...or you just went...or here you come. I don't know which direction I'm going with this.