@aveuaskew: Ulterior motives? Please, I don't even know why I do things.

@POTerritory: The only thing more predictable than the conspiracy theories is some people's inability to distinguish Indonesia from Malaysia. #AirAsia

@Molly_Kats: You're 35 weeks pregnant and gonna make me do math?

@BoogTweets: Judas: *Sips wine* Great, water again, very funny Jesus:HAHA I got you! Judas: So glad this is our last supper Jesus: what? Judas: what?

@causticbob: Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis.