@Ideal_Victoria: All of my horoscopes lately have started with “Ok, don’t freak out but…”
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@howe007: If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about.
@murrman5: [waiting with friend for his test results] "I'm nervous" I'm sure you're fine *sees 2 doctors playing rock paper scissors outside room*
@joegoats: Apparently the guy next to me and I aren't even going to discuss who uses this armrest.