@Ideal_Victoria: All of my horoscopes lately have started with “Ok, don’t freak out but…”
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@fart: no dude, if i wash my hands BEFORE going to the bathroom then they won't get my genitals dirty and i won't have to wash my hands after. duh
@vlowgoes: My garden has produced some sick beets, some smashing pumpkins and some red hot chili peppers. We go on tour in the fall.
@iAmDelFreaky: I've decided to shave off my eyebrows and draw them in. It's pretty cool, except when I have to redraw them to show somebody I'm angry.
@PFTompkins: Never read the comments. Unless you're posting a comment. Then, read all the comments, because 40 other people already said that, genius.