@Ideal_Victoria: All of my horoscopes lately have started with “Ok, don’t freak out but…”
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@Lerky: Me: you're like heroin. Her: Why? Because you're addicted to me? Me: No, because you're ruining my life.
@david8hughes: [steps off crosstrainer] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."