@Boleyngirly: All of my suspicions are sneaking around.
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@lecalabara: Wife: I finally caught you. I could hear it from the other room. You were watching a dirty movie. Me: No. Its just womens tennis.
@AntozWolf: Kinky is when you bring a feather into the bedroom. Perverted is when you bring the whole chicken.
@maebemarbles: *Santa lifts a rug while sweeping and finds a dusty, crumpled note* "Please keep my family safe, love Bruce Wayne." *Santa grows very pale*