@Laser_Cat: All the girls I've ever kissed can agree on one thing. It's weird that I have a beak.
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@isabelzawtun: Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman. I don't even know what to believe any more
@Pork_Chop_Hair: Him: Don't get your panties in a bunch. Me: It's called a bulk pack, Todd. That's how Costco sells them.
@crushingbort: "Yesterday you were 3 Chainz and now it's 5 Chainz," Janet cried. "Where does it stop?" 8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for
@Thing_Finder: I hate when I can't remember if my wife and I are in love or fighting. So, I'm like a minesweeper in the mornings.