@hidingfromme: All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
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@TommyWallace: "Yeah I just really enjoy playing devil's avocado sometimes" Teacher: devil's advocate? Me [grabbing trident and avocado costume]: no.
@hazelmotes1: I can't wait to find out what new undeleteable apps that I don't want will be on the new iPhone.
@aaronnemo: I suck at video games. I mess up the character's life like I have my own. I played Mario today and he ended up $60K in debt and had 4 DUIs.
@jazmasta: if ur date declines a kiss at the end of the night open ur mouth and let the ants escape. Then say "it's ok I had a mouthful of ants anyway"