@Underchilde: All these fireworks and still my girlfriend has the shortest fuse.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thatUPSdude: Turns out HR doesn't care if it's national underwear day, you have to wear pants to work.
@novicefather: I was gonna put on my cowboy hat and sit on my patio shirtless to showcase my abs when I realized I don't own a cowboy hat, a patio, or abs.
@maxlavergne: 100% per cent of survey respondents said: help us get out of this tall tree. we didn't know this survey involved being stuck in a tree