@Underchilde: All these fireworks and still my girlfriend has the shortest fuse.
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@sofarrsogud: MOM: Any plans tonight? ME: Me and the guys heading out to find us some ladees *shoots finger guns HER: So Pokemon Go with Gary? M: Yessss
@rockymomax: HER: I have something I want to tell u ME: me too HER: *smiles coyly* same time? ME: sure HER: 1,2,3 I LOVE YO- ME: ONE TIME I ATE DOG FOOD
@caithuls: Easiest way to make friends? Craigslist Hardest way? Hmm probably putting your chin on a stranger's shoulder from behind them at an Arby's
@NatePhilbrick: If other jobs got the same response as writing: -You're a fireman? Have you put out any famous fires? -You're a lifeguard? Can I be a victim in your next rescue? -You're a physicist? I have a few universe theories myself! -You're a chef? I'd do food too, but I never have time.