@Underchilde: All these fireworks and still my girlfriend has the shortest fuse.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Book_Krazy: Mommy what's an "Act of God?" Me: *Flashback to my CrossFit trainer* Well dear, an "active god" is in his mid-20s and has a smokin hot body
@Ophoenix1: I've been watching the Crime Investigation channel all day. Murder just seems like the easiest way to solve your problems.
@causticbob: I found a cure for my debilitating cancer. I dumped her and started to see a capricorn instead.
@omerwahaj: What's the name of that movie with that actor in which the guy does that thing with that other thing in that place during that time?