@kwirkyKerri: All these knights going on a quest for the Holy Grail was a waste. They should've just asked their moms. Moms can find anything.
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@Carmensadie: Unless you're going to tell me there's a sniper target on me, I can wait for you to finish chewing to hear what you have to say. Thanks.
@ibid78: [sees a kid at the park doing the pee pee dance] "NO KID, WAIT- [it starts raining buckets of pee]
@OutOfLeftField_: Does anyone else find it ironic when a celebrity with a face full of Botox talks about having the freedom of expression?
@OfficeofSteve: The wife wants me to be a doctor in our sex role playing. So I guess I'll make her wait an hour, then send her to a specialist