@kwirkyKerri: All these knights going on a quest for the Holy Grail was a waste. They should've just asked their moms. Moms can find anything.
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@tigdonovan: Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit
@Cidisn: Look, woman, I'll do laundry when I'm out of clean clothes. *puts on skirt* I didn't say whose clothes.
@audipenny: Welcome to The News. Tonight's top story: you know that thing you love? It's terrible and you're terrible. Thanks,
@walks_on_legs: What is this special type of waffle called a "Tennis racket" and why does it taste like metal wires?