@kwirkyKerri: All these knights going on a quest for the Holy Grail was a waste. They should've just asked their moms. Moms can find anything.
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@brandonIee: I have decided to leave my past behind me, so if I owe you money… I'm sorry, but I've moved on, and maybe it's time that you do too.
@One_FineMess: Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode.
@Andee_Stewart: Based on the amount of tools I've dated, you'd think I got a deal at The Home Depot
@JennyJohnsonHi5: "FOUR MORE YEARS!!! FOUR MORE YEARS!!!..." - Honey Boo Boo's teachers her senior year of high school