@ramblinma: All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger.
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@PaperWash: [Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' "That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired" [later googling Sextuple] "Omg that's genius"
@iscoff: Eating food off the floor, taking pills, trying to chase away ghosts? I grew up to be Pac-Man
@rolldiggity: A fun prank if your roommate is a cartoon character is to draw clothes on the mirror so he leaves the house not realizing he's naked.
@SteussieErica: [6 ½ hour car ride] Me: I'm so sick of sitting I can't sit anymore. Also Me: *gets home and immediately sits on couch*