@ramblinma: All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger.
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@AndyAsAdjective: I want to congratulate you on learning the definition of abundance. "Thank you. It means a lot."
@SCbchbum: Careful, the circular motion you make with your hand to tell someone to roll down their car window is giving away your age.
@mydmac: DM:You're so hot, wanna Skype? Me: it is quite hot, and a skype sounds delicious. Is that vodka? DM: ME:hello...you there
@F5X11: I send flowers "From Steve" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn