@Hobo_Splendido: All these years you thought your grandma had Alzheimers, and turns out she just didn't want to talk to you.
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@Adam14: Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You're welcome.
@sa_mohn: In school it be like 2+2=4. Homework: 2x8+3=19. Then the test: Juan has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the suns mass. Wtf
@CabetoMejia: From 3am to 6am this morning I wanted to kill myself, but now I want some French toast. #cravings