@BillMc7: All You Need Is Love. And an IQ low enough to believe that.
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@JRobb773: My retirement plan is to live in the cargo hold of a ship and spend all my time convincing the sailors I'm a ghost haunting them.
@TheIronSherk: [Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?
@leontymccarthy: I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.