@simoncholland: Almonds are good for when I want to have a healthy snack and want to stop having twelve dollars.
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@ChribHibble: The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.
@DarkerWillow: My husband thinks it's really weird I only like green bananas and I think it's really weird I have a husband.
@NurseSeymour: Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It's called Facebook.