@SincerelyMen: Almost a billion dollars have been spent on campaign ads so far. It's a good thing our schools & economy are in great shape or I'd be pissed
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Girl from my high school posted on Facebook that she got a "constellation prize" at a church carnival yesterday. She skipped school a lot.
@BuckyIsotope: TARGET GUY: anything I can help you find? ME: I’m looking for *eyes turn black* BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT TARGET GUY: *eyes turn black* AISLE 5
@_notyourmom_: My 13 year old doesn't speak when she picks up the phone. She just listens and hangs up. I think she's going to be a hitman someday.
@Sir_Strange: *goes on job interview* -You come very highly recommended. -Why thank you, I always try to be as stoned as possible before I come to work.