@SincerelyMen: Almost a billion dollars have been spent on campaign ads so far. It's a good thing our schools & economy are in great shape or I'd be pissed
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@WilliamAder: Glad I'm not a general, because auto-correct just changed "lunch order" to "launch order."
@delusionaliam: Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and it'll eat for weeks!
@AntDiPalma: A religious family member literally said "Spongebob goes too far sometimes" and I can not stop laughing.
@LuvPug: I just deleted the same tweet twice for two different typos and now I can't tweet it again because it's already been stolen