@8bitgun: almost called my teacher "mom," but I caught myself after "mo" and added an "n." I had to pretend I was Jamaican for the rest of the year.
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@ohpeetie: Boyfriend is talking about taking me on a camping trip. Like, a real one where we'll sleep in a tent and pee outside. Is he mad at me?
@SirFlushaLot: "This is wrong on sooo many levels" I say to my victims as I rob them at gun point on elevators.
@Mikestanley1: [pulls up after first date] Me: well, this is my place Her: a bouncy house? Me: you expected a bouncy castle? IM SORRY "YOUR MAJESTY."
@MaiPareshaan: This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that "it stays in your system forever," so I swallowed a table to stick it under it.