@polorize: Although it may be true that I don't have a lot of friends, I do however have a significant amount of strangers that don't bother me.
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@kwirkyKerri: Drops empty vodka bottles in all the neighbor's recycling bins. So the garbage men don't think it's just me.
@AudreyPorne: spin the bottle, except you have to murder the person it lands on her: this is a baby shower
@NicestHippo: [getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying "Technically we're already in space?"