@msgwenl: Always a bridesmaid, never a new world-order leader in a post-apocalyptic all-powerful matriarchy. Sigh.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PyrBliss: A dragonfly just landed on my face an I reacted the same way I'd react if an actual dragon had landed on my face.
@Swishergirl24: The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust.
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: It's great having kids, isn't it? ME: Oh yeah, it's the best W: How long until they go to bed? ME: 4 hours, 17 minutes & 26 seconds
@whalesmells: me: so did it hurt? her: yes, a lot me: when i splashed that salsa in your eye? her: I SAID YES