@AaronFullerton: Always amazed when I see people slip guns into the back of their pants. How is that comfortable? How do you not get a weapon wedgie?
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@fuzzlime: Men fantasize about me, women want to be me and children obey me! [wakes up on bathroom rug]
@jdawsey1: NYC parks department on naked Trump statue: "NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.”
@Bexdora: My Mother worries about me living in London sometimes. I tell her it's not London she has to worry about. I just injured myself on a potato.