@Manda_like_wine: Always buy 'hand wash only' shirts whenever you want to wear something once and then throw it into a 'hand wash only' basket for 15 years.
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@lahirip: We will always be important enough to fit into someone's motive. However, that is not the kind of importance we want to carry around
@GrowlyGrego: [doctor hands wife urn] Ma'am, I'm afraid your husband didn't make it. "Nooo!" she cries. Oh, he's fine. But he didn't make this lovely urn.
@DirtMcTurd: [watching Game of Thrones] last week was great, I paid attention to everything! TV: last week on GoT.. Me: when the hell did that happen?!
@AlexRogaski: Buying In Bulk In theory: Oh good, I'll have enough chips to last all month In reality: I'm gonna eat 5 family size bags of chips tonight