@Manda_like_wine: Always buy 'hand wash only' shirts whenever you want to wear something once and then throw it into a 'hand wash only' basket for 15 years.
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@Tmoney68: God: "MOSES. THIS IS THE LORD. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOUR PEOPLE." Moses: "New burning bush. Who dis?"
@ValeeGrrl: Oh, you're about to earn your 3rd master's degree? I'm still working on spelling "bananas" without singing "Hollaback Girl" in my head.
@leechee420: Accidentally ate the sticker on my apple. This wouldn't have happened if it had been a Snickers.
@hippieswordfish: CAVEMAN 1: i make this. it called fire CAVEMAN 2: how u do that?! CAVEMAN 1: um *thinking about how he was making 2 sticks have sex* magic