@pushinghoops: always carrying a megaphone in case you have to sigh at someone far away
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@davedittell: WIFE: Dave's here HUSBAND: Dave from work or Dave who always wears scarves? ME: [from downstairs] I got caught in the ceiling fan again!
@MeatloafComedy: My pants embarrassed me in front of a chick again. How many times must I tell them that it's rude to point???
@vodkachrome: My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what's for dinner.