@pushinghoops: always carrying a megaphone in case you have to sigh at someone far away
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@tuckerflodman: [Inspecting car] *kicks tire* "Mmhm just as I suspected, it can withstand a single kick."
@rachelle_mandik: ME: Got here as fast as I could! I have the anecdote! HIM [dying of snakebite]: Please say you mean antidote ME: Funny story! This one time—
@danorslim: Me: You wanna have sex tonight? GF: I'm not in the mood babe. Me: Hold on a second. I'm on the phone.
@KevinFarzad: To everyone with a motorcycle: your motorcycle is very loud & we are all very proud of you.