@envydatropic: Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you're into fitness
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@IamEveryDayPpl: My walk of shame is spending 10 minutes trying to pronounce something at a Mexican restaurant before giving up and ordering tacos.
@KeetPotato: [lightbulb store] owner: "what watt can i get you?" me: owner: me: owner: "did i stutter?" me: "i dont know"
@WilliamAder: Don't ask me if I have a safety pin if you're going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you.