@envydatropic: Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you're into fitness
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@comer310: Me: Who will I share the sunset with now?! *sobs* Friend: Bad breakup? Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.
@NourHadidi: "Sleep is for the dead". Yeah cos you look so alive when you're yawning. #stupidsayings
@hippieswordfish: ME: *fumbling with bra* sorry im usually good at this HER: its...fine ME: *successfully gets bra off* there we go, now you take off yours
@SkinnerSteven: [street] ME: "What if I park here?" PARKING OFFICER: *writing a ticket* "Fine by me"