@LackOfShame: Always get double toppings on take out pizza so you can eat one of the toppings off as an appetizer during your drive home.
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@Lexactly: Dentistry is the perfect profession for people who like to talk but don't want a response
@dreamthievin: People who bend down to pick up a thread instead of running over it with the vacuum 37 times, what's it like to exercise?
@ClichedOut: Scientist: The outside of your phone is the dirtiest thing in the world. Me: Lol, you haven't seen the inside.