@Maxine12333: Always keep your head up and stand proud! That way your double chin won't show in your pictures.
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@ArfMeasures: "Remember u don't choose your spirit animal. It choose u" ME: Ok great *all the animals immediately look away & avoid eye contact with me*
@curlymalloy: Why are they giving Lance Armstrong a hard time about doping???... Going to the moon is very scary shit!!!
@KingRainhead: i dont care if people dislike me, but if a pet ignores me, i will hit them up nonstop & keep changing my look drastically until they love me
@ElgatoEsmio: We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER