@Karate_Horse: Always the pallbearer, never the dead guy
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@Tmoney68: "DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE GYM, BABY! AGES THREE TO NIIIIINNNNE!" - Axl Rose, playground monitor.
@The_JRM: The main reason I tell my daughter that beauty is on the inside is because I'm in charge of her ponytail in the mornings.
@shutupmikeginn: An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me: 1) I don't have a car