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@Karate_Horse: Always the pallbearer, never the dead guy
@sarcasm_inc: [a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it
@NotJPo: Wrong Hole!
- a love story
@UnicornSyrup: My boyfriend wanted a serious relationship so we stopped smiling at each other.
@BradBroaddus: 1) Jumped out of bed
2) Cooked breakfast
3) Ran 6 miles
4) Worked out
5) Started lying compulsively
@TheHyyyype: ME: seen the loch ness monster?
HER: it's not real
M: *unzips pants* wanna bet?
H: *rolls eyes* sure
M: k i'll pee and then we'll google it