@Karate_Horse: Always the pallbearer, never the dead guy
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@shivillex: Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside..
@cheeky__gal: A poltergeist was moving furniture around the house, and I really love what he's done with the place.
@KentWGraham: I just used one of those plastic grocery dividers to let my wife know exactly where the middle of the bed is.
@SlenderSwab: Screamed in horror as I woke to find two severed horse heads in my bed, but then laughed remembering I hadn't removed the one from yesterday