@WheelTod: Always use a fish knife when eating fish, a tomato knife when eating tomato, and a Swiss Army knife when eating a member of the Swiss army.
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@TragicAllyHere: If you guys don't do my "Funeral Ideas" Pinterest board justice at my funeral, I will haunt you so hard *pinning ideas to "Haunting" board*
@kcmoore51: 11: You know what would be really ironic? Me: No, what? 11: If someone died in their...living room. The Twitter is strong in this one.
@BlindChow: GOD: did u eat from the tree of knowledge? ADAM: no…it was my girlfriend GOD: who? ADAM: u don't know her she goes to a different school