@PanicRestroom: Always wear clean underwear, In case you are abducted by aliens
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@CornerPubRon: After years of intense research, I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is actually the cremated remains of all my other socks.
@HeyZeus666: What if God IS a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I'll never hear the end of it.
@ImKevinito: My kids are going to be so disappointed when they figure out peer pressure is a myth and they have to actually pay for drugs in high school.