@InternetHippo: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no
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@KarenKilgariff: LIFE HACK: If a public restroom is locked, violently yank the door handle over and over like a gorilla and never accept that it's occupied
@topaz_kell: I love horror movies until it's time to do laundry in the basement and I have to run up the stairs before a scary force pulls me back down.
@GrowlyGrego: A new hipster coffee shop in my hood doesn't have wifi b/c it wants to encourage talking...presumably about the failure of this coffee shop.