@InternetHippo: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no
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@JohnMayer: Yogurt does nothing. Creamy nonsense. You ever finished a yogurt cup and felt like it made a difference? Like throwing a shoe at a bear.
@internetluke: [interview for fireman] "So why do you think you're a good fireman?" I lit the building on fire "What?" Now watch as I try to put it out
@krissywillbretz: When I said "I'm really good in bed" I was referring to sleeping. Sorry for the misunderstanding, you can pull your pants up now.