@InternetHippo: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no
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@TheTweetOfGod: Hey U.S.: if every now and then I heard a "God PLEASE bless America", maybe you'd have better luck. #manners
@usedwigs: The hardest part of the day after running a marathon is finding ways to work it into every single conversation you have.
@UNTRESOR: "How did you sleep?" "On my back, mostly. At one point I tried to climb into my dryer but I couldn't fit."