@realrossnoble: Amazing statistic. The new U2 album is the most deleted record in history.
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@DaddyJew: [buying college textbooks] That'll be 100 million dollars [returning college textbooks] We can give you half off on this pencil case
@PAT_E_ROCK: The water drought in California is so bad, that someone broke into my cousins house and stole his waterbed.
@BonaFideIntent: Me: I HAD A VISION! I was a GARDEN GNOME & I was ridding a FLAMINGO & the FAIRIES sprinkled cocaine on me & I FLIED!! My Therapist: .....