@realrossnoble: Amazing statistic. The new U2 album is the most deleted record in history.
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@iGreenMonk: I am sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist !
@KyleMcDowell86: [in car] Wife: Dont tell ur arm story Me: Im gonna stick to humorous stories 2nite babe *at party* AND THAT'S WHEN MY HUMOROUS BROKE IN HALF
@RaisingOneBrow: George W Bush kept us safe just like how abstinence education kept Bristol Palin unpregnant.
@HiddenPinky: How'd you get a black eye? Walked into a door. [Later, another shiner] More doors? *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.