@realrossnoble: Amazing statistic. The new U2 album is the most deleted record in history.
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@ThatRascalPuff: Gramps: *on deathbed* I feel like Im forgetting someth- *dies* [2 yrs later] Me: *knocking water outta my ears* *quarter falls out*
@3sunzzz: When you ask your waiter for an extra pickle, don't wink. It can easily be misinterpreted.
@RegularFred: [Rorschach test] Patient: Leprechauns in cheetah print unitards kickflipping over flaming tree stumps Dr: I think we can skip the others
@qqnqui: Skipped the gym today to go to McDonald's. The bus did not come back, so I had to walk 2 miles home. Well played, universe.