@justinshanes: Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
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@PabloGSerski: The secret of a long marriage is accepting the utter euphoria you would feel from strangling your spouse to death isn't worth life in jail.
@causticbob: Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people. Why a man would want two wives is a bigamystery.
@Cpin42: Sick of people calling me "The Jigsaw Killer." Sure, I kill people. I also like jigsaw puzzles. But those two things don’t define me