@justinshanes: Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
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@torrami: My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I'm 28 now and I'm still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang :(
@stevevsninjas: shot through the heart and you're to blame tetanus shots should go in the shoulder this is grounds for a malpractice suit
@mrjohndarby: [city marathon] ME *handing out drinks to the passing runners*: DRINK? RUNNER *grabs drink from me*: THANKS ME *chasing*: SO WHAT ARE WE?