@justinshanes: Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
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@koalaslament: I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race.
@hardlyrelevant: (in dog boss' office) "Smith, you're fired." Fine. I guess I'll just WALK out... (boss' tail starts wagging) "Wait Smith get back here"