@StellaRtwot: I appreciate when aerobic instructors say "Don't forget to breathe" because I sometimes forget and then I die.

@PinkBlotMom: Are these potato chips so much healthier b/c they're Baked? My brother is baked all the time, and he's got diabetes.

@Sorrowscopes: Sagittarius: A bad situation gets worse this week when your family refuses to pay the ransom.

@fro_vo: Abe Lincoln: write this down Mary: ok Abe Lincoln: fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth…okay read it back Mary: this down

@juneohara65: Someone just told me to dim the lights and called it a beauty tip.