@_youhadonejob1: Cats being cats.

@walks_on_legs: What is this special type of waffle called a "Tennis racket" and why does it taste like metal wires?

@PetrickSara: Me: Who drew the picture? 8: I can't remember her name. Me: You memorize 200 Pokémon but you don't remember the kids names in class? 8: 213

@TheToddWilliams: [my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down.

@Darlainky: Manipulate the interview process by arriving with baked goods.