@topaz_kell: Ambien is not the answer, unless your neighbor questions why you were sleeping on their couch and where did their cheesecake go.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Those guys who came by the office to ask for protection money kept breaking things. Like I'm going to pay people that clumsy to protect me!
@fro_vo: [on a speed date] (okay don’t let her know you’re a zombie) “so, what do you like best in a woman?” BRAAAIIINNNSS
@QuietPsycho: Absinthe For when you'd love to wake up in the morning...naked on a raft in your neighbour's pool, but lack the motivation