@topaz_kell: Ambien is not the answer, unless your neighbor questions why you were sleeping on their couch and where did their cheesecake go.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Arrogant_Twat: My stomach just made a really weird noise. I’m sending a pizza down to check it out.
@bidenandobama: Biden: why can't I log into my twitter what's everyone talking about today Obama:
@withanewname: [boarding plane with really old pilot] "think his heart will hold out? lol" attendent: excuse me, sir? "depart out, what time do we leave?"