@TheTweetOfGod: America is the greatest country on earth at thinking it's the greatest country on earth.
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@LorieGZ: Me: I hope you pee your pants, teach you not to hold it in! My daughter: You shouldn't wish for that..you're the one that does the laundry!
@jonnysun: INTERVIEWER: do u have any weaknesses VIDEO GAME BOSS: [strugling to cover glowing weak spots all over body] UM
@Holy_Mowgli: GOD: *holds up dinosaur* what do we call this thing AARON: aardvark GOD: no you're fired LLOYD: llama GOD: fired PTOBY: hang on, I got this