@WilliamAder: "America's Most Wanted" to return to the airwaves with an NFL edition.
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@themiltron: [working at Bed Bath & Beyond] ME: Hi there, may I help you? What are you looking for? CUSTOMER: Shower head. ME: Sir, please, we just met.
@david8hughes: There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going.
@Underchilde: The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse.
@djdarrellripley: Her: She's too young for you. Me: Based on what? Her: Based on the number of times the Earth has orbited the sun since she was born.. Me: