@ChaseMit: America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@houffy: Apparently Mr. Neeson's "particular set of skills" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped.
@_AlanGarner_: My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, And they're like "It wasn't that hard."
@mewritesgood: Hey Google, if I'm searching for "herpes symptoms" then no, no I'm not "feeling lucky."