@jakefromstfarm3: An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough
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@NoogsCorner: Cop: Why are your eyes bloodshot? Me: My girlfriend dumped me and I was crying... Cop: Oh. Me: ...so I smoked weed to feel better.
@ericsshadow: *orders pepperoni pizza* Her: you need to start taking better care of yourself. *calls back, adds mushrooms*
@darkmatter_wimp: Sure, I can teach you about fractions, kid. Just remember this: There is a very fine line between the numerator and the denominator.