@jakefromstfarm3: An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough
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@215potter: My neighbor's facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
@AnniemuMary: My husband got new earbuds. Think I'll skip the middle man and put them straight in the washing machine.
@BromanConsul: if you meet a woman under the age of 75 named "Maude" or "Agatha" it's a good bet to check nearby for a time machine