@TheTweetOfGod: An old white man in a beard bestowing gifts from the sky? Please.
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@murrman5: [space mission studying behaviour of snakes on the moon] astronaut: "we should've taken our own" astronaut holding net: "just keep looking"
@djdarrellripley: Him: I lost my dog today at the company picnic! Me: You should post something on FaceBook. Him: My dog isn't on FaceBook. Me:
@MdUNH: I can't take the time to exercise but I did some killer cardio pacing indecisively in front of the Ben & Jerry's section of the supermarket.