@VYVYANCRAIG: Ancient Egyptian toilet paper
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@VerifiedJayy: Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking
@lecalabara: This dude forgot to put tomatoes on my sandwich. Thanks, "artist". Now I have nothing to pick off.
@murrman5: "911" you gotta help, my wife is in labour in the backseat "how far apart are the contractions?" about 2 miles but I'm driving pretty fast