@trevso_electric: And on the second day, God created the sunset and He saw that it was good but decided it would looketh better with the Amaro filter.
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@gorrdano: Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker "Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."
@Brianhopecomedy: On my 5 year old's report card it said, "He is encouraged to ask more questions". ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
@TalibJim: ME: bae, you wanna go out? HER: hell yeah 😊 ME: ok pliz close the door on your way out I need to play FIFA alone.
@ClassicMegan: Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.