@ventivodkacran: ...and the award for best lead actress in a dramatic role goes to me for "I Have A Sinus Infection, Why Don't You Care That I'm Dying"
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@Eightinchgoat: My neighbor seriously just asked me, "Does Canada have 4th of July?" I said "No, they skip from the 3rd to the 5th, eh? I need to move.
@thepunningman: "So how are the anger management classes?" We have to crochet stuff when we get mad "Sounds stupid" [I furiously make a beautiful cardigan]