@ComedyPosts: And then Satan said, "Put the alphabet in math..."
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@msbtx: "Snitches get stitches," I whisper to my 3 year old as he watches me brush Oreo crumbs from the bed sheets.
@Brentweets: Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
@dafloydsta: Dear Stephanie on Facebook, I do not care that you are watching The Breakfast Club. I only want to know what channel it's on.